First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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