dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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