honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
