My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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