Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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