i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize