4 words: hood of his car
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
