...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
