I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
