Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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