...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize