I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize