Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
