Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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