Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
