sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
