What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
