glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
