East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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