he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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