Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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