Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
