I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
