i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
