Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I can't turn off my feet"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
