He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
