Whod you bang
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
