make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
