honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The struggles of a small town man whore
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
