I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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