wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Randomize
