So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
