Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
