The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize