In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
