with your own penis?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
