Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have fence marks all over my body
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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