Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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