you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
