Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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