Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
