I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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