He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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