You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
