R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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