I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
They are going to name an STD after you.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
