My balls are so social today.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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