Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
