you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
