in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
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