Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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