Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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