I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
