found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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