I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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