I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
