you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
