your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
